Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The New Year has come and gone, and I have no new year post to post. Perhaps it is due to my current mental state. The fact of the matter is 2011 was a pretty epic year for me, I mean, it was great. I couldn't imagine a better year (well I could, but that would involve things that apparently don't occur in reality, like time traveling or dragons, something of that sort). Anyway, as far as realistic life opportunities, it doesn't get much better than the last 12 months.

Here's the kicker, it is now January 3rd, 2012, and I am dragging myself out of my bed at my parent's house conducting an internal mental debate as to why I should shower and eat breakfast and then proceeding to use every ounce of determination I have to fight the urge to crawl right back into the luxurious bed that seems to be whispering my name anytime I set foot in Kansas City.  I need a job. I need a job, and an apartment, and those things people supposably get when they grow up. I actually WANT to unpack my kitchen things. The looming dread of the job hunt even suffocated my desire to celebrate the new year in any historically precedented style. I did not go to any parties, I didn't dress up in sparkly attire, there were no fireworks, and I didn't even get tipsy. This is natural, right? The impending doom of post-college life. I'm not experiencing anything new or unheard of, especially in this job market. You have born witness to all of this ranting and raving before, from the NYTIMES to your friends and family. Perhaps that is the most staggeringly depressing part of it all: it is simply a predicament not even worth mimicking the standard struggles of and yet it is devastating my internal equilibrium.

In effort to not puppet a scenario that is so common its a drag even when covered by mainstream media, lets turn to the goals I set out a little over a year ago:

In 2011 I hope to: Wake up a little earlier on average. Or come to terms with being someone who sleeps in late. (I came to terms with being someone who sleeps in late, success!) Continue to learn Croatian. (Jucer, pisla sam pismo na hrvatskom, success!) Gain some insight into larger life goals: PhD? Law School? Job? Professional offshore fisherwomen? The last one is a joke. (I'd say, mostly a fail. I did take the LSATs and have an internship all in hopes of gaining insight, however, I'm still left here contemplating such absurdities as offshore fisherwomen...) Take better care of my body. (yes? I think so.) Refuse to be paralyzed by the unknown. (This is a constant struggle, however, I think it is one I gain ground on everyday.) be bold. (Why am I sometimes so cheesy?) Keep track of money like a real adult should. (Success!)