Saturday, December 13, 2014

Trying to Remember What I Read in 2014

Visit from the Goon Squad- Jennifer Egan
The Flamethrowers - Rachel Kushner
Lullabies for Little Criminals- Heather O'Neil
The Human Stain- Philip Roth
Pastoralia- George Saunders
The Goldfinch- Donna Tartt

Currently reading: Swann's Way- Proust and Bad Feminist- Roxane Gay

To be honest- this was a weak showing. There were many books I read half of, but I don't think I can count those. I am glad, however, how many ladies are on this list.

I'm having a bit of a rough day. I couldn't sleep last night and felt angry about it and in the process kept Kyle awake, who does have to work today. I made him eggs and kale juice in the morning as some form of an apology but it feels cruel to sabotage someone's sleep and potentially throw off their entire next 24 hours. I have become a sleep hog. I love sleeping. I love my unadorned bed. I love the weight of quilts and the different textures of blankets nuzzling my chin: so soft is our white cotton blanket, and the orange-indian rice-colored afghan from Gramps draws back in time, enveloping me physical and mental comfort. The afghan has the familiar feel of hand made, family made, of the blankets that magically appeared in every room of my childhood home each fall. Then the quilt, the only intentional blanket we bought, that is also old and frayed, but not from our families or our past but rather the generic past: the thought of unknown hands meticulously piecing it together. This last one I love for it's mystery.

I have many things to do today and can not bring myself to do any of them. I have been duped by a restless night and am in a sour mood. Thinking about the dark early morning hours of feeling like the only cure for this insomnia would be to go for a long hard run. At that moment I wanted to do anything but lay in bed but felt trapped. I had to try and try and try to sleep until morning and then feel useless all day. What is it that throws a kink in these physical routines of ours? Why do I always assume I can predict and control and coach my body into doing something different?

This is boring but functioning as an excellent way to procrastinate.
Hit me up with book recommendations for 2015 if you have them/if anyone ever stumbles upon this blog anymore.

Sweet day dreams XOX