I unpacked boxes full of materials holding memories of space that I had not realize how much I had forgotten. My relationship towards these objects of matter is always a debate-to hold onto because their feel or sensation stirs up such a more concrete and visceral memory, or to let go in the knowledge that I can not hold on to everything and that sometimes we have to strive to see the beauty in the murkiness of the past.
to make room for new things.
to believe that it isn't the things that matter.
to understand my resentment to those who let things go, delete photos and toss knick knacks but it is sign of something bigger, of a disregard for that time we built together. I am a saver by nature and a purger by circumstance. Two years with only a suitcase has made me lean in my inconsequential belongings but has not taught me how to discern my feelings toward objects.
I am wearing red and have done my make-up perfectly. My hair is newly washed.